Redaction Hormonal Imbalance

now calling it Neurological Destabilization

I used to call it hormonal imbalance. My shorthand for everything tipping, slipping, dropping. But now I know it isn’t hormones alone. It’s my brain — my ND wiring — destabilising under strain.

It feels like this:

I’m walking around thinking I’m fine, thinking I’m charged, thinking I’m balanced. And then something inside me slides. The scales tilt. The yin and yang stop fitting. The sparkle jar empties without warning.

My oestrogen is low, yes, but the real thing happening is deeper. It’s neurological. It’s the ADHD battery drain. It’s the autistic freeze. It’s the trauma spill. It’s the menopause trigger. All of them stacked. All of them tipping the scales at once.

When it hits, I drop. My arms drop. My brain drops. I stand still like a robot that forgot its docking station. Eyes working. Body not. Thoughts trying to push me forward but nothing responds. The velvet curtains close — red, heavy, brocade tassels — and it’s game over for a moment.

I don’t notice the signs. I don’t see the fuel tank emptying. I don’t feel the battery draining. I just suddenly switch off. Neurological destabilization. That’s the truth of it.

And then, just as suddenly, I’m back. Jacqueline and Hyde. Yin and yang snapping back into place. Sparkle returning. Curtains opening. System rebooted.

I used to think progesterone intolerance meant imbalance. I used to think hormones were the whole story. But now I see it clearly: It’s my brain. My wiring. My history. My ND scales tipping under menopause pressure.

So I’m redacting Hormonal Imbalance. I’m naming it properly. Neurological destabilization. The moment my system slips out of alignment — and then finds its way back.