Going Shopping in the Menopausal Way

 

Going Shopping in the Menopausal Way

A menopausal purchase is planetary.

The sun must shine. The temperature must be just right.

You must be neither dipping nor surging — just perfectly balanced in the hormonal moment.

Because unless you buy exactly when the stars align, it will get returned.

You’ll love it on the day.

But if the scales tip even slightly — by the next morning, it’s on the fence.

If you’re lucky, you’ll return it.

If not, it’ll sit in your wardrobe for 28 days until the return window closes.

Then it’s either sold on Vinted for a quarter of the price or left to haunt you.

There’s a lot resting on a menopausal buy.

It’s not just a purchase — it’s a mood, a moment, a miracle.

I never realised this until I saw how small my wardrobe was.

Not because the shops weren’t there — but because I wasn’t there when I got there.

You leave the house feeling great.

You arrive at the shops and suddenly… not so great.

So the purchase is less than mediocre.

Hence: Bicester Village. One pair of socks.

The decision-making is planetary.

The hormones must balance.

The happiness must be instant — and it must stay.

Going shopping in the menopausal way.