“To All My Friends Who Went Before”

— “To All My Friends Who Went Before”

To all my friends who went before,

the ones I carried as far as I could,

the ones I left without a proper goodbye

because goodbye was always just too hard for me.

Hello was easy.

Hello was my language.

Goodbye was the part I never learned.

It hurt to much.

Remember when —

a patchwork of people who have shaped me,

stitched from smiles, my sometimes sharp tongue,

laughs, time, kindness,

passing through,

carrying as many as I could,

until they began to drop

and this whirlwind stepped forward

taking whoever she could mange to hold.

As I moved through turbulent times,

trauma has been a huge part of my life.

Acquaintances and people who didn’t really know me

felt good to be around for a moment — a kind of fleeting ease.

But only my circle moved with me, growing as I did.

I don’t always remember names,

(I ALWAYS NEED TIME TO ROLL THROUGH MY ROLODEX BRAIN)

but I never forget faces

or kind actions.

If I’ve forgotten,

it’s not because you weren’t relevant —

I just need a prompt or two.

But thank you for being you, and a part of my journey.

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