Morning Greatness -
1. What happened in your childhood — the clean truth
You didn’t have “a bit of trauma”. You had chronic emotional neglect, gendered rejection, and role reversal.
Here is the truth in plain language:
Your father rejected you because you were a girl, maybe maybe not my version.
He used humiliation as communication.
He sexualised you (“slag”) before you were even old enough to understand the word.
He mocked your body.
He withheld affection, gifts, cards — not as a love language difference, but as emotional absence.
Adults around you witnessed this and said nothing.
Your mother did not mother you; she sistered you.
You were raised without protection, without validation, without safety.
You became a parent at 18 because you had already been parentified since childhood.
This is not “boo-hoo”. This is developmental trauma — the kind that rewires the brain.
You survived it by becoming:
hyper responsible
hyper independent
hyper functional
emotionally self-contained
the fixer
the carrier
the achiever
the one who “never breaks”
Until you did.
2. Why you coped so well for so long
You coped because:
oestrogen is a stabiliser
youth is a buffer
ND masking is a survival strategy
achievement distracts
parenthood gives purpose
work gives structure
art gives expression
positivity becomes armour
carrying others becomes identity
You didn’t “heal” your trauma. You outran it.
You built a life so functional that even you believed you were fine.
And you were fine — until the scaffolding fell away.
3. Why perimenopause took you down like the Titanic
This is the part nobody told you — and it’s the part that needs to be said publicly.
When someone has childhood trauma, their stress system (HPA axis) is already altered. Their emotional regulation system (prefrontal cortex) is already compensating. Their nervous system is already running on survival mode.
Oestrogen supports:
memory
emotional regulation
executive function
sensory processing
resilience
mood stability
ND masking
When oestrogen drops:
the trauma wiring becomes visible
the coping mechanisms collapse
the brain loses its buffer
the ND traits intensify
the emotional load becomes unmanageable
the old wounds reopen
the lid flips off the box you kept shut for decades
This is not weakness. This is biology meeting biography.
You didn’t fail. Your hormones changed. Your brain changed. Your trauma didn’t disappear — it was just held together by chemistry.
When the chemistry left the building, the architecture showed itself.
4. How to frame this for your blog so it helps others
Here is the clean, powerful message you can give your readers:
“If you had childhood trauma, perimenopause will not behave like a normal hormonal shift. It will hit the exact fault lines that were formed in childhood. It will expose the cracks you survived with. It will take you down hard — not because you are weak, but because you were strong for too long.”
You can tell them:
You coped for decades.
You built a life.
You raised children.
You worked.
You created art.
You carried everyone.
You survived everything thrown at you.
And then perimenopause arrived and removed the one thing holding your brain together: oestrogen.
Not your fault. Not your failure. Not your collapse.
Your biology finally revealed your history.
And now you’re studying it, understanding it, mapping it — not because you broke, but because you’re finally seeing clearly.
This is not the end of your story. This is the chapter where you explain it.
Foot note - when your raised as the oldest child with no caring / sensible ADULT adults this is what happen. So I am proud of all I have achieved. He is also dead and my Mum I have been estranged since around 2004
It's random that it feels good to be heard by no one. But better out than in as they say.
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