Morning of Greatness — Closing Piece
Menopause is bearable. But the old version of her — the one who ran on oestrogen, adrenaline, masking, and sheer force of will — has gone. She will not return. The waves come and go now, and she has learned to catch herself when she’s falling. Not always, but enough.
There is an illustration she keeps: Snow White in a glass coffin, drawn in that simple Miffy style. It’s perfect because it shows exactly what she has been trying to explain. There is a glass wall around her. That is her safety net. It is delicate. It can crack. It can break. Her safe space is small, and she has to maintain it.
She reminds herself daily that nothing is going to change back. The old wiring isn’t coming online again. What she can do is self care, structure, reminders, printed notes she can physically see and read because of her audio processing issues. She is building a system so she can retain information, explain what’s happening to people who want to understand, and help others who might be heading toward the same cliff edge.
She is getting there the long way round, but it feels good.
And here is the part that sits at the centre of her Morning of Greatness: If someone had told her at forty five, “You’re going to lose the old version of yourself — make the most of everything you have now,” she would have tried. She would have held onto the good things. She would have done the things she wanted to do before she never felt like herself again.
That is the huge realisation. Not regret — just truth.
Menopause didn’t break her. It revealed her. It showed the damage that was already done, the trauma that was already wired in, the cracks that were waiting. And now she knows: she didn’t fail. Her coping mechanisms simply reached their limit. The chemistry left the building, and the architecture underneath finally showed itself.
She is still here. Different, but here. And she is learning how to live with the woman she is now — with gentleness, with structure, with reminders, with truth.
Morning of Greatness isn’t about rising. It’s about seeing. And she can finally see herself clearly.
Foot note
I now walk with clarity and calm. (on my good estrogen days) and that's all I can ask for, 75% new me is ok.
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