Why Does Nobody See How Hard This Is - All Butter Toast

 

— Why does nobody see how hard this is?

This is how I work. I start with a line like that, and then the words spill out — first in a voice note, then in whatever direction they choose. Sometimes they follow the path I thought they would, and sometimes they wander somewhere completely random.

But this is my safe space. My words.

Why does nobody see how hard this is

It’s like starting with a firm piece of toast, covered in chunky butter you’re delighted to eat. Then, as the butter melts, it seeps straight through the toast. You’re left unsure whether you even put butter on in the first place, and instead of that firm bite, you’re holding a piece of slightly wet toast.

Why Does Nobody See How Hard This Is?

You know that feeling? You get that perfect piece of toast—firm sourdough, just out of the toaster—and you spread on that thick, chunky butter. I’m talking about the kind you always wanted as a kid but were never allowed. And now, as an adult, you think, “Why not? I’ll have my thick butter.”

But then life happens. You step away for a moment, and by the time you get back to it, the butter’s melted right through. You’re left with this soggy piece of toast and it’s just not the feeling you thought it was going to be. Instead of that warm, crunchy delight, you’ve got something that’s a little bit disappointing and not quite what you imagined.

Footnote

I never thought I’d take up space with my own words — but here I am, letting them land where they want to land.