My Feelings On and About Rejection Sensitivity

My earliest memory of it is eight — “good old eight.” There’s art to back it, and a whole blog post too: Not Only Bees Sting.

https://hello-wall-hormonal-heart-poetry.blogspot.com/2026/01/not-only-bees-sting.html

It’s funny how you can go through life not knowing a word, or thinking, “Not me.” Bulletproof. Or so I thought.

And then someone explains it — and suddenly the whole map of your childhood lights up.

Whether it was Derek saying, “I don’t know why you got me a gift, I didn’t get you one,” — the sting of generational rejection. Or the constant, “You’re just like your mother,” when I was eight, nine, ten — until I refused to go anymore.

What rejection sensitivity actually is

Rejection sensitivity is described as a heightened sensitivity to perceived rejection or criticism in social situations. Some people feel the pain of rejection much more intensely and may fear being rejected by those around them. This can lead to interpreting even mild or benign social cues as signs of outright rejection.

What it was for me

For me, rejection sensitivity felt like being stung — the air sucked out of my lungs, my insides pulled forward, and tears so big I could have drowned in them. I filled a whole pool. It hurt. That’s why I reversed the feeling, loved less, so I couldn’t be hurt again.

And when I finally overcame all my growing‑up trust issues, giving trust , I got hurt immediately — hormonally and literally — as I entered perimenopause and couldn’t function the way I always had. That’s when I learned the feelings, the wrongs, the rights, the patterns I’d been carrying.

It’s what I thought true love was. Silly me.

What I know now

People often say you should never tie your self-worth to anything that shifts or changes — whether it’s a job title, someone else’s opinion, or external praise. Instead, anchor your sense of value in something stable and unchanging — your core principles, your inner steadiness, the qualities that make you you.

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