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Humans 0, Rats 1

 

BLOG POST — Humans 0, Rats 1

I’d barely got home from town when I realized the binmen had been. Recycling bags everywhere — blown straight across the driveway like some kind of municipal obstacle course. So I start picking them up, muttering to myself, and take them round the side entrance to chuck back over the fence.

Yesterday we paid a man £225 — a proper rat‑catcher — to set four traps in the garden. Four. Professional. Strategically placed. Expensive.

Because our entire side passageway is basically a rat motorway: wood stacked high, brambles thick enough to hide a small army, and a perfect underpass/overpass system they’ve engineered themselves. There are at least two regulars — I’ve seen them. One grey, one brown. Both bold. Both clever. Both treating my garden like a Tesco Express.

Anyway, I’m lifting the bags to throw them over the fence when I look down… and there he is.

The rat. Just sitting at the bottom of the neighbour’s big tree. Watching me. Like he’s waiting for me to finish so he can make his exit easier.

He’s not even scared. He’s supervising.

And then it hits me: He’s been running across these bags, through my side entrance, around the garden, probably laughing at me. And the real kicker? He has run past all four of the £225 traps without even slowing down.

Not one nibble. Not one curious sniff. Just a full Olympic sprint straight past them.

I first saw a rat here ten years ago. This one looks like a descendant — same colouring, same pink nose, same “I live here actually” attitude. Almost cute. Almost.

So yes: Humans lose. Rats win. Again.

I’m out £225, four traps, and a bit of dignity. He’s out there right now, probably telling his mates about the idiot who cleared his path for him.

Honestly… what was the point?


Texture - (rat catcher)

On a serous note I'm a vegetarian I do not wish harm just less in my garden - I have grandchildren and water and Rats carry limes disease. We have lived in unity for 10 years but now they roam the garden in day light - it is not funny anymore.

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