Memory Shard — Molly’s Words

 

Memory Shard — Molly’s Words  

Molly said something that made a penny drop — a Mike drop, really.

She told me:

“You didn’t know what it was like to have your entire life, for as long as you can remember, controlled by hormones. A two week cycle. Involuntary thoughts. Involuntary feelings. Involuntary facts.”

And suddenly I understood something we don’t share.

We’re both ND.

We’re both in menopause at the same time — me naturally, her because PMDD stole her life and forced a hysterectomy before she was thirty.

No aftercare.

No follow up.

A womb taken by a man.

The centre of the female body removed so she could survive her own hormones.

And now, feeling what I feel at my age, I realise she lived this intensity from thirteen.

She made decisions with a PMDD brain — a survival brain — and now she has to grieve the life shaped by that darkness.

Footnote:  A voice note and an understanding.  A Mother’s Perspective, devastation.

“She made decisions with a PMDD brain — a survival brain — and now she has to grieve the life shaped by that darkness, the years from teenager to young womanhood lived under hormonal command.”