Memoir Shard — Tabs open, Steam on (The packing will not get done)

Memoir Shard — Tabs open, Steam on (The packing will not get done) - Part One 9 am

MEMOIR SHARD — TABS OPEN, STEAM ON (The packing will not get done)

Part One

This morning starts like a browser with a thousand tabs open, none of them loading, all of them screaming for attention. I’m packing, or at least I think I’m packing, because somehow I’ve packed the flowers behind the suitcase. I’m colour-matching my clothes to the flowers, to the beading on the ornament in the window, and in the corner of my mind the Cheshire Cat is folding her paws, nodding like, yes darling, the aesthetic is strong today.

But is it aesthetic or is it my ND brain doing its usual pattern-matching Olympics.

The steamer is plugged in downstairs — forgotten, humming, dangerous.

The bleach is sitting in the sink — also forgotten, also dangerous.

The dishwasher is fixed because apparently only I can see when it needs fixing. The knife and fork I left as a clue were moved, not washed. So I did that too. One task completed. Gold star.

Meanwhile the bed is unmade, my teeth aren’t brushed, and I’ve suddenly realised I have twenty minutes to get to spinning. I’ll have to repack the suitcase I’ve already packed wrong. I’ve also had a full conversation with Copilot about my outfit of the day, gone rogue on Instagram about a hat I bought during a moment of questionable judgement, and asked the audience what on earth I was thinking.(in my conversational mind)

I could sit back in the chair or go to bed.(5 am wake up)

The unmade bed?.

The bed I always make, as soon as I leave it.

Except today.

I watered the plants though. So that’s something.

But I’m going on holiday tomorrow and the house looks like a creative tornado with executive dysfunction at the wheel. I’ve started everything, finished nothing, and now I’m walking around looking at the mess wondering how I ever manage to complete anything at all.

It’s like having a million tabs open and never closing any of them.

They just stay open, buzzing, draining the/My battery.

And then I spent twenty minutes tying a bow on a bag I don’t even know if I’m taking on holiday. But the bow was beautiful.

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