Memoir Blast: The Marriage Benefit in One Scene

The Marriage Benefit in One Scene

At the crossing today I watched an old couple —  
she must have been seventy five, maybe more.  
The lights said go, the traffic had stopped,  
but she still paused at every single car,  
checking, double checking, triple checking,  
her body angled on the protective side.

And him?  
He just drifted along beside her,  
eyes forward, hands empty,  
the human equivalent of “she’s got it.”  
Decades of practice, I suppose.

It hit me like a punchline:  
the marriage benefit imbalance in one neat little scene.  
She’s still the lookout tower at seventy five,  
still the risk assessor,  
still the one scanning for danger  
so he doesn’t have to twitch a single neuron.

And of course I recognised it —  
because whenever it’s my children or grandchildren,  
I walk on the outside of the pavement too,  

What blows my mind is this:  
even at seventy five, she’s still doing the emotional labour,  
still carrying the co dependent choreography,  
still the protector, the navigator, the default adult —  
so he can simply walk forward  
and call it a partnership.

Footnote — I’m at the lights, three lanes of traffic, middle lane, and she checks and protects each car, 
all of them braked and waiting for the light to change. Imagine having that feeling — 
not something many men get.