“The Question of Essence”

Anxiety & Introspection

Essence — 3 July 2023

What is my essence?

What am I made of,

and made from?

How does my essence move through the world,

and how do people breathe it in?

Am I like vanilla essence —

a drop that changes everything,

warm, calming, familiar,

a scent that makes people smile?

Or is my essence something harsher,

unwanted,

a smell that turns the room away?

Essence of essentialism —

do I exist in the extension of essence,

or am I still searching for the core?

I ask again:

what am I made of?

What is the mantra stitched into my bones?

I know I am an artist —

I’ve never needed feedback,

criticism,

cynicism,

opinion.

I create because I must.

But what is my essentialism?

Is it the anxiety,

the dizziness,

the strange freedom of philosophy?

Is it the thought I once wrote down:

that I should feel privileged

to be able to dream?

Do I have the privilege to dream?

Did I ever dream?

Have I dreamed at all,

or has it all been a long,

unfolding

nightmare?

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